Party of "3"...Daddy, Mommy & Me!

So...the kid has been in "school" for what…2 years now?! And over the course of those 2 years he's done a LOT of school work...drawings, paper creations, etc. Keeping EVERYTHING he’s done would be next to impossible! (Or should I say…borderline “pack rat ‘ish!)

Well, today...the kid comes home with another "packet" showcasing the work that he's done. He's always very excited to explain what it is he's created and how the finished products came to be. Most times, I listen to the descriptions of the creations; making a mental note of the specific ones (if any) we will keep. And when the kid is not looking (usually when he's gone to bed) I'll throw away those creations that are not so easy to recognize and are duplicates of things that we already have.

Notice I said “when the kid is gone to bed” I’ll throw things away…

Well…”smart” me, decided to throw away something and leave it at the top of the trash…easily recognizable for the kid! Who knew that he would go to throw something away and “research” what was in there?

The kid (in a very sad, disappointed voice): Mommy! You threw my heart away?

Me (shocked and not quite sure how to respond): Huh?

The kid (walking towards me…looking pitiful): You threw my heart in the trash?!

Me (too shame to look him in the eye): I did?

The kid: Come here…let me show you.

Me (reluctantly walking with him to the trash): Ok

The kid (opening the trash and pointing to the heart): See…it’s right there!

Me (Thinking of a lie while feeling my nose grow): Oh Joseph, I didn’t mean to throw it away, I was trying to throw away that jump rope package and the heart went in the trash on accident.

The kid (looking at me like I could have come up with a better story): Ok, GET.IT.OUT!

Me (repenting for the lie and trying to make a mends): I sure am going to take it out of the trash and as a matter of fact, I am going to put it on the refrigerator…Mommy is so sorry.

The kid: Ok (and walks off)

I feel horrible! From now on…instinct tells me…he’s going to be “watching the trash” for other items that Mommy has “accidentally” thrown away.

(sigh)

Praying that he’s really found it in his “heart” to forgive me…note said heart below (on the refrigerator):

Ok...so, Daddy wasn't too thrilled about this ensemble; however, the kid was adamant about wearing BOTH!

And from the responses he got from his adoring fans...I'd say, it was a HIT!!!

Straight out of GQ Magazine...it's JOE B!

Recently, we decided to take the "chef" to a restaurant where culinary skills are put on display right before your eyes. We knew it would be a huge hit!

As you can see...he not only mastered the art of shaping rice into a "heart", but he also put Mommy to shame by his ability to use chop stix!!! LOL!

Way ta' go!

Mommy and Daddy try never to "swear" in the presence of the kid...as a matter of fact, neither of us swears much at all. For some reason, however, the kid has picked up on a "nice, nasty" way to verbally let us know how he feels. Yep...as if he's swearing!

You be the judge...

When the kid has been disobedient, as he oftentimes is, Mommy and Daddy will raise our voices to stress the importance of obeying your parents; following directions and doing what you've been told. So instead of the kid acknowledging the scolding with a "yes ma'am" or a "yes sir"...he emphatically says "TOMATO SAUCE!"

Now...inquiring minds want to know...is it a coincidence that "TOMATO SAUCE" is appropriately stated where, perhaps, a "swear" word would likely fit? Or is this just a "nicer" way of his recognizing the error of his ways?

Hmmmmmm...

Don't be surprised if you meet the kid one day and he's missing part of his tongue! Because we aren't buying it!

Inquiring minds often wonder why people do the things they do...wear the things that they wear...say the things that they say. But, "usually", we never verbally express our questions or concerns. Because most of the time...IT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS.

Well..."couth" is something most kids are not familiar with! Whenever they want to question something or someone...it's blurted out without giving it a second thought; matters not who's listening or if the person(s) they are questioning is in their presence.

Case in point...

While dining at the local Waffle House, the kid notices a person wearing "flip-flops" who has intentionally (or not) taken one of them off. He says (loudly): "Mommy, that man doesn't have his shoes on!"

Instead of following my first mind and saying: "That's not your business."

Mommy says: "Really? He needs to put his shoes back on."

a minute or two passes...the man puts his shoes on...then Mommy notices he takes them off again. So Mommy says to the kid (quietly):

"That man has taken his shoes off again."

The kid says: "Mommy, that's not your business!!!!"

Mommy agrees (reluctantly) and wonders what just happened!!! Walked right into that one...(sigh)!

We've now entered into a "new" phase...

The kid wants to wear shirts and ties and/or complete suit combinations to church...EVERY SUNDAY! What happened to suits at EASTER only?!

Prior to his birthday, all of his suits and ties were too little. So, each Sunday, we'd "argue" about him not being able to DRESS LIKE DADDY! First of all, why was Mommy "arguing" with a 3 year-old? And secondly, who would have thought that a 3 year-old would demand to wear suits and ties?!

Anyway...thank God for loving Aunts and Uncles! They've acknowledged the kid's request and gifted him with a variety of shirt and tie combinations that he can now wear on a weekly basis...at least until he outgrows them LOL!

Check him out...

Chuck-E-Cheese Fun!

Waiting...

Watching and thinking about my turn...

Fashion conscious....he is not!

Recently, the kid had his umbilical hernia procedure completed. He was a real trooper to say the least. The procedure lasted a little over an hour and went off without a hitch. The road to recovery didn't take very long and the Tylenol with Codeine that was prescribed seemed to have an "adverse" affect...never did it make him drowsy or sleepy; as the nurse suggested! Go figure!

Nevertheless, Daddy and Mommy are happy that the kid survived and is back to his ole' self! If you see him, be sure to ask him about his "belly being fixed"...he'll be happy to show you his war wound!

Recently at a friend's house for breakfast...the kid has his eye on an "older" little girl who happened to be sitting at the same table.

Looking at wedding pictures with the kid...

Kid: "Mommy...who's dat'?"

Mommy: (emphatically) "That's Daddy baby!"

Kid: (head tilted to the side...looking at Daddy, then looking at the picture) "Him had hair?"

Mommy: (Laughing hysterically) "Yes (looking at Daddy)...Daddy had hair! What happened?"

Kid: (inserts "new" word he's learned)..."Mommy, you're DRAMATIC!"

Daddy: (matter of factly, giving Mommy the evil eye)..."Yes, Joseph, Mommy's dramatic!"

Mommy: (in the back of her mind)..."Not my fault you've lost your hair!"

Gotta Love it! LOL!

Not sure why this clothing ensemble was picked to wear by the kid!
It's too early for his birthday and he's two years past the time
identified on the shirt!

So glad the too little shorts were conveniently "cropped."

Shaking my head....

The other day, Mommy decided to break the breakfast monotony of "pancakes on a stick" by going out to get donut holes. There was no doubt that the donut holes would be a BIG hit with the kid (and his stomach) as he and Mommy had endulged themselves on more than one ocassion.

So...Daddy has the pleasure of taking the kid to schools most mornings. This particular morning was no different. Daily "kid drop off" conversation with Daddy went something like this:

Daddy: "Was he supposed to eat the whole bag?"
Mommy: "ummmm probably not if you didn't want his belly to hurt"
Daddy (kinda hesitant): "Oh...he has 3 left"
Mommy (thinking to self): he ate the whole bag!

Kid...full of donut holes = bouncing off the walls and a serious belly ache!

Hours later...at "pick up"

Teacher: "Joseph had a great day today; however, he mentioned his "belly" was hurting earlier."

Mommy: (with a questionable look) "Hmmm...I don't know. Maybe it was something he ate?"

(laughing to self and thinking...yep, I know his belly did hurt, homeboy ate a whole bag of donut holes!) LOL!

Recently, let's say within the last several weeks, the kid has been experiencing (unexpected) setbacks in the potty training/trained area. He's been fully potty trained (in the "day") since early January, so to revert back to having to change clothes a couple of times a day has taken a major toll on the washing machine (not to mention Mommy and Daddy!).

Watch "dem'" grow

Here's the scene:

The kid gets out of school early and is picked up by his dad. They get home and Mommy decides to call to check on the kid and find out (from him) about his day.

Phone rings...Dad answers

Mommy asks to speak to the kid

Kid gets on the phone

Kid: Mommy I pee-pee'd on myself at school

Mommy: Why

Kid:(changes his story and says) I didn't pee-pee on myself, I pee-pee'd on my mat

Before Mommy can ask anymore questions...The kid quickly asks: Mommy you here?

Mommy: No...I'm at work

Kid says: ok...I talk to you later (and hangs up)

Mommy: (Eyes bucked...mouth open...looking at the phone) Guess there's nothing left to say!

Me: earrings are for girls...

Him: da' man at da' "bobby" shop have one...(pause)...him a girl?...(silence)

I walked right into that one (sigh)...

Simple words we know...two with a similar meaning; however, one of the two has a slightly "nicer" sound. ("booty and bottom")


The first time the kid came home with the word "booty," we quickly told him that that wasn't a nice word and instead of saying that word...he should say "bottom."


All was well for several months until he picked up a "new" word that apparently sounds exactly like the other word when spoken and/or sung (at least to him)..."body"

As soon as he hears someone say "body", he immediately yells (to anyone who will listen) that "they" have said a "BAD" word. Instead of trying to explain to him that "body and booty" were two separate words...we just let it go.


Until several days ago.....

We decided that we'd try and explain to him the differences of the words. At 2 months from 3 years old, we figure he's older now and he'll be able to understand.

Boy were we wrong....

Let's just say we are worse off than when we started!

I'm beginning to wonder...is "booty" really that bad of a word? I mean...besides the fact that it sounds horrible and disrespectful?

HELP!

So...we're having lunch with the kid at a restaurant. And...it is "normal" for us to say our grace or say a blessing prior to eating our meals. On this particular day, the kid has already blessed his food (and ours) and we have already begun eating our meals. When the kid turns around and notices another family sitting down to eat. He "studies" their actions, watches them unroll their eating utensils out of their napkins and begin to eat. When out of the blue he SHOUTS....

"MOMMY...THEY DIDN'T SAY DERE' GRACE!"

Everyone at our table (stunned and very embarrassed from his outburst), not knowing what to say or do...we ask the kid to turn around and essentially mind his own business; because, perhaps...they forgot (basically...we ain't prepared for no altercation with nobody! so turn around! lol!)

So instead of him obeying (as he should)...he turns back around, looks at the people (now eating) and begins to say their grace FOR THEM! Yes, he begins to recite his entire prayer for the people from beginning to "in Jesus name we pray!"

After he finishes, he turns back around (to us) and says..."Mommy I prayed fa' them!"

Priceless..."Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he's old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

How many people have YOU prayed for today?

As parents...you're constantly reminded that you should: always "watch" what you say (kids are always listening), definitely "watch" what you do (kids pay most attention to your actions) and ALWAYS monitor what your children "watch" on television (kids are like sponges, they soak everything up)!

Who knew that THIS infamous line from a popular ADULT TV personality would become so popular with the kid...antics and all?!!!!

how YOU doin'? lol!

Lord...help the chil'ren!

So...me and my Tee Pa were able to spend some quality time together. And as always, Mommy provided explicit instructions: when I should eat, what I should eat AND the exact time I should lay down for my nap!

Well...lucky for me, things NEVER go like Mommy plans and with my Tee Pa...I always have a blast!!!

My cousin Bubba and I are often told that our relationship is like an "old married couple!" We love each other and then within the next five minutes, we hate each other and are fighting again!

One thing is for sure though...Whenever we're together...it's always FUN!